Between Grade 1 and Grade 8 at my small Catholic High School, I won an award at the end of the school year. The award was called “The Highest Academic Achievement”. Every year… from Grade 1 until Grade 8; I had the highest Grade Point Average in my class. When I graduated in Grade 8 I was also Valedictorian. I wrote the Dragon Warriors in the summer following Grade 8 graduation…
A way of alchemizing all of my fear and stress about going to a new High School. However, even prior to this… winning that award every year caused a cascading amount of stress and worry and tension into my life at a very young age. I was, and am, extremely competitive with myself.
I have certain astrological aspects to Pluto, a main one being a very direct opposition between my Sun in Taurus and my Pluto in Scorpio. Pluto rules Scorpio, and as such, those children born between 1984 ish - 1993 would have been born with Pluto in Scorpio. If you are also a Taurus born within this time, you will also likely have echos of this aspect.
Pluto brings power, but it is not without its deep challenges.
When my world fell apart after I graduated from High School… my mother cheated on my dad, my grandfather died, my boyfriend broke up with me… I took the opportunity to put this past self, this PERFECT version of my self… to death.
I did not want this stress of being perfect anymore.
The constant feeling on edge that if I didn’t perform exactly RIGHT that the entire world would explode.
The unfortunate thing is that despite me being perfect, and achieving all of these accolades… school the institution, and the education industry - did nothing to fully prepare me for the game of life.
I learned that from packing up my life into 2 suitcases and a one way ticket to the big city. And my bet paid off… I built my life here. I met the love of all my lifetimes here.
However, I have realized… you can never outrun yourself.
The girl who was constantly stressed and wrote the Dragon Warriors at 14 in 1999 bet on me right now - to figure it out.
Don’t worry little Rachel…
I got this <3
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